Archive
📝🐱⏰The 7:30 Inspection and My Night-Time Duties This morning, I arrived for inspection at 7:30. Yes, 7:30. My humans had been granted a full extra …
📝🐱🪱Household Policy Update: Treachery by Pipette Today, I regret to report a serious breach of trust within my household. My humans approached me …
📝🐱🪖A New Recruit in the Ring of Friendship I have been informed that a new young gentleman has joined my Ring of Friendship. His name is Little …
📝🐱🍬Household Policy Update: An Anniversary of Considerable Importance Today is an important day in my household. My humans are celebrating their wedding anniversary. …
📝🐱🐟Household Policy Update: The Open-Door Night Shift I am pleased to report that the recent decision to leave the doors open at night has been met with …
📝🐱🎂A Birthday Audience for the Male-Human Today is a particularly important date in the household calendar: the male-human is celebrating his …
📝🐱🚪The Doors Stay Open Tonight, the doors will remain open. Quite right too. A queen cannot be expected to manage her …
📝🐱🏡 From Jutta to Mrs. Cotton There was a time, before I took up my present royal appointment, when I lived in Enschede and …
📝🐱🐮Household Policy Update: Patience, Plastic Surgery and Proper Access Miss Moo Moo Longtail has once again been under the knife. Plastic surgery, no less. Fortunately, my …
📝🐱🇳🇴A Royal Reply to the Nieces of the North My Dearest Nieces of the North, I was utterly delighted to receive your handwritten communication in …
📝🐱⚡A Most Unusual Royal Arrival King Charles and Queen Camilla appeared at the opening of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow by …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: The Ginger Intruder A ginger tom from the neighbourhood came to assist me with an unexpected security inspection today. …
📝🐱🌙 Late Night Household Report By the time my humans believe the house has settled for the night, my real work begins. At precisely …
📝🐱✈️Her Royal Return My female human is coming home, and I can hardly wait. Naturally, I have kept the household running …
📝🐱My Official Complaint About Vacuum Cleaners Yesterday, my humans committed the same household offence they have committed many times before. …
📝🐱🛌🏻The Saturday Morning Wake-Up Department Saturday mornings are an important part of my household administration. My humans seem to believe …
📝🐱🏡Weekend Duty The weekend is nearly upon us, which means my humans will once again be at home for a full …
📝🐱🇳🇴A Farewell Inspection and the Return of Management Last night, the Nieces of the North came by for one final farewell before setting off on the very …
📝🐱The Exterior Painter’s Unexpected Promotion At first, I regarded the exterior painter with the caution appropriate for any tradesman arriving at …
📝🐱🚪The Closed Door Policy Humans do not understand closed doors. They believe a door is simply either open or shut. A …
By the way, there is a beauty nap in progress now. Royal duties have been temporarily suspended …
📝🐱🩷 By the Way.. When the Northern Family left, I noticed that my female human had a little dampness in her eyes. I …
📝🐱🍬Lessons from the Nieces of the North I recently had the great pleasure of meeting family from the North of Norway, including two …
📝🇳🇴🐱The Northern Delegation Arrives Today, my Palace is preparing for a most distinguished visit. The Norwegian Family has arrived in …
I am often asked why I wear no crown indoors or in official photographs. A true queen does not need …
📝🐱The Great Fuss About Fifty A member of my family has turned fifty. Apparently, this is an Event. There have been discussions, …
📝🐱🪰Why Fly Hunting Is an Essential Royal Duty Some humans believe that fly hunting is merely a hobby. This is incorrect. Fly hunting is a vital …
📝🐱A Most Welcome Temperature Adjustment At last, the temperatures have dropped a little. I have reviewed the situation from several …
📝🐱The Melon, the Sunbeams and the Suspicious Painter Every morning, I begin my duties with a thorough inspection of the kitchen. Some cats rush about …
A lovely quiet evening. My humans are in front of the television, while I have claimed the canapé, …
📝🐱The Sofa Armrest Investigation Yesterday, my household received a specialist visitor. A furniture restorer arrived to inspect the …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: The Approved Sleeping Places There appears to be some confusion in my household regarding sleeping arrangements. My humans seem …
📝🐱A Thought from the Throne My humans often ask why I stare at them from across the room. I am not staring. I am conducting a …
📝🐱The Royal Soup Signal My humans have recently noticed that, when I am presented with a deliciously cold soup during warm …
📝🐱The Importance of Midnight Zoomies for Fitness and Morale There comes a moment in every well-managed household when the lights are low, the humans are …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: Touching Is a Privilege, Not a Subscription I feel it is time to address a matter which continues to confuse my humans. Apparently, they have …
📝🐱A Gentle Reminder from Management The temperature is rising. I was promised air conditioning. My humans are therefore kindly requested …
📝🐱Settling In Nicely, Thank You Very Much On 11 March, I was collected from the shelter and brought to what my humans rather casually call …
📝🐱A Brief Household Announcement I would like to confirm that everything in this house remains under control. Naturally, my humans …
📝🐱The Exterior Decorator Requires Close Supervision Today, my humans witnessed what they have rather foolishly described as “me getting on very well …
The kingdom is officially closed for the evening. My humans may continue with whatever it is they …
📝🐱A Rare Case of Humans Thinking Properly As Head of Household Strategy, Senior Director of Sofa Allocation and sole authority on whether a …
📝🐱That Tiny Meow at the Door Apparently, I make a tiny little meow when one of my humans enters the room. A “mini-meow”, they …
📝🐱The Pork-Tail Protocol - Why the Curl Means the Staff May Remain. For Now. There are, in every well-run household, certain signals from senior management that must be …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: The Post-Dinner Dash Is Not Madness, It Is Procedure Every now and then, my humans witness one of my finest administrative manoeuvres: I finish a …
One human has gone to an amusement park. The other is behind a laptop, doing what appears to be …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: Cleaning Must Not Interrupt Royal Operations There are certain truths in life which even the most stubborn human should have mastered by now. The …
📝🐱Household Policy Update: The Difference Between “My Basket” and “Anything I Happen to Be Lying On” There appears to be some confusion in my household. Not from me, obviously. I understand the …
📝🐱 The Nespresso Protocol There has been some loose talk in my household about a “Pavlov reaction”. I should like to make it …
📝🐱 It wasn't me There comes a time in every respectable household when one must address matters of upholstery, …
📝🐱Mrs. Cotton Reports: The Weather Has Finally Remembered Its Manners At long last, the temperatures have dropped. I do not wish to sound dramatic, but the recent heat …
📝🐱 The Royal Archives of Mrs. Cotton Due to the rather dramatic heat this week, I decided it was best to conserve energy and conduct …
📝🐱Mrs. Cotton and the Very Questionable Training Look Of course I was taking Moo-Moo Longtail to training. A serious athlete must maintain discipline, …
📝🐱 Training and Development Living indoors is lovely, of course. There are soft blankets, reliable meals, warm spots, and humans …
📝🐱A Word on the Weather Situation For Dutch standards, it has been rather intense on the temperature front. My humans, clearly …
📝🐱Well, hello there. I was given access to this blog by my human. Apparently, he wants me to express myself more, since I …