📝🐱🐾The Humans Are Buying a Fabric Sofa. Apparently They Trust Me.

There has been a significant development in my household.

My humans are in the market for a new sofa.

This is not an entirely unexpected decision. The current sofa has served the kingdom for many years and bears certain historical markings left by the late Lady Snickers, who, as I have mentioned before, had a rather direct approach to furniture ownership.

Specifically, the armrest.

Lady Snickers apparently believed that if one was going to leave a legacy, one should make absolutely certain it could not be removed with upholstery cleaner.

I, naturally, have never subscribed to this philosophy.

Yesterday, my humans went sofa hunting. I was not invited, which seemed an extraordinary oversight considering that I am both Head of Household and the person most likely to spend seventeen consecutive hours on the thing.

Nevertheless, I allowed them to proceed unsupervised.

They are currently considering one large corner lounge sofa.

A very large one, apparently.

Excellent.

I have always felt the living room needed more dedicated accommodation for me, with perhaps a narrow strip along one edge where the humans may sit when authorised.

There is, however, one detail which has caused some discussion at senior-management level.

It will probably be made of fabric.

Fabric.

Not leather.

My humans have apparently looked at my performance over the past six months and concluded that I can be trusted.

This is touching.

Also brave.

In fairness, the evidence is overwhelmingly in my favour. I do not hang from curtains. I do not destroy furniture. I do not sharpen my claws on the sofa. I have demonstrated impeccable standards throughout my tenure.

There have been no incidents.

None.

And any minor sounds occasionally heard from another room have never resulted in sufficient evidence to justify an inquiry.

So yes, my humans may buy their enormous fabric corner sofa with complete confidence.

I shall treat it with dignity.

I shall sit on it politely.

I shall sleep on it responsibly.

I shall refrain from conducting unauthorised upholstery experiments.

I may even permit the humans to use it themselves.

Naturally, when the new sofa arrives, I will need to inspect every centimetre personally. This will involve walking across all cushions, testing each corner, lying diagonally across the largest section and determining which seat receives the best afternoon light.

This is not “claiming the sofa”.

It is quality assurance.

And as for the fabric, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for my humans to be nervous.

They have known me for six months.

I have known myself considerably longer.

I am sure everything will be perfectly fine.

Almost certainly.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾