I feel it is time to address a matter which continues to confuse my humans.

Apparently, they have noticed that when my food is being served, I am perfectly happy to be picked up, stroked, cuddled and generally admired at close range.

Quite right too.

At mealtimes, I am operating under special diplomatic conditions.

Food is being prepared. Bowls are moving. Cupboards are opening. Important smells are circulating through my household. This is not the moment for unnecessary distance between senior management and catering staff.

So yes, during food service, my humans may pick me up.

They may stroke me.

They may hold me close.

I may even appear unusually tolerant while inspecting the situation from their arms.

This is entirely normal.

I am simply maintaining direct oversight of the catering department.

However, once the meal has been served and consumed, normal household regulations immediately resume.

And under normal regulations, I prefer my humans to remain at a respectful distance.

Not because I do not love them.

Good heavens, no.

I love them enormously.

From over there.

The difficulty is that humans have developed a rather strange idea about affection. They seem to believe that because a cat enjoyed being stroked at 8:03 in the morning, this automatically grants them touching rights at 10:17, 13:42 and again during an important afternoon sleep.

It does not.

Affection is not a season ticket.

There is a very simple system in my household.

When I walk towards my humans and stop beside them, I am available.

When I stand close enough to be touched, permission may reasonably be assumed.

When I lean against a leg, present my head or remain in place after first contact, the interaction may continue.

This is what we call a clear application procedure.

By contrast, when I am sitting peacefully three feet away, this does not mean:

“Please come and fetch me.”

When I am walking through the room, it does not mean:

“Excellent opportunity for an unexpected cuddle.”

And when I am asleep, it most certainly does not mean:

“Let us see how much affection we can insert into this situation before she wakes up.”

No.

The rule is beautifully simple.

I come to you.

That is how I show trust.

That is how I choose contact.

That is how civilised affection works.

My humans are, of course, still learning.

Sometimes I see one of them looking at me from across the room with that particular expression. The one that says, “She looks so soft.”

Naturally I look soft.

I am white, elegant and exceptionally well maintained.

That is not an invitation.

It is a visual experience.

Please enjoy it responsibly.

So let us put an end to this human confusion once and for all.

Yes, you may cuddle me while food is being served.

Yes, I may stand beside you later and request affection.

And yes, for the rest of the day I may prefer a tasteful amount of personal space.

These things are not contradictory.

They are called boundaries, timing and excellent household management.

Honestly, I do not know why this is so difficult.

Still, every misunderstanding is a training opportunity.

My humans have earned another continuing education point.

Not enough for independent touching privileges, obviously.

But progress is progress.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾