📝🐱🐸🐑Household Policy Update: A New Trainee Has Arrived

There comes a moment in every well-run household when one must accept that the training department needs to expand.

Apparently, that moment has arrived.

I would therefore like to formally introduce Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail, the newest member of my household training programme.

Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail is a small frog with an unusually long tail, which immediately raises several administrative questions. Frogs, as far as I am concerned, are generally expected to arrive without one. Still, I have learned that good leadership requires flexibility, and Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail has been accepted exactly as he is.

He is green, compact, rather cheerful-looking and currently possesses the sort of expression that suggests he has absolutely no idea how much work lies ahead of him.

Naturally, I took responsibility for the training of Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail personally.

The programme began with the basics: remaining where I placed him, understanding the importance of respectful distance, and learning that when I inspect something with my nose, this is not an invitation to move.

Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail showed promise.

There were, admittedly, moments when Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail seemed slightly overwhelmed by my teaching methods. This is understandable. Excellence can be intimidating when encountered at close range.

Fortunately, the entire training session took place under the watchful eye of Lady Fluffington.

Lady Fluffington is a miniature sheep and a senior observer within my household administration. She is very small, extremely fluffy and has the calm expression of someone who has attended many important meetings without ever feeling the need to contribute unnecessarily.

An admirable quality.

Lady Fluffington supervised proceedings from a suitable position and monitored my performance throughout.

I am pleased to report that she found no faults.

At least, she did not mention any.

Sir Hops-a-Lot Longtail will now continue his education as part of my official training programme. His curriculum will include household etiquette, proper sitting procedures, royal inspection protocol and the essential skill of remaining calm when approached by a highly qualified white cat.

Lady Fluffington will continue to oversee selected sessions.

As for me, I shall continue doing what I have always done: maintaining standards, educating newcomers and ensuring that every creature in this household understands exactly who is in charge.

My humans may technically own the training materials.

But I run the academy.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾