There are, in every well-run household, certain signals from senior management that must be understood without the need for a formal memorandum.

Mine is the Pork Tail.

This occurs when one of my humans applies a satisfactory degree of scratching to my lower back, just above the tail. At that precise moment, my tail rises and curls into a neat little loop.

The humans find this adorable.

Naturally, they have misunderstood the seriousness of the matter.

The Pork Tail is not a party trick. It is not an invitation to squeal, “Look at her little curly tail!” in a voice normally reserved for babies and unusually shaped vegetables.

It is an official performance indicator.

When the curl appears, I am communicating several things at once.

Firstly: the location is correct.

This is important. Humans have a tendency to scratch approximately where requested and then expect full marks for effort. I do not assess effort. I assess outcomes.

Secondly: the pressure is acceptable.

Too light, and one wonders whether they are actually committed to the task. Too firm, and the entire operation begins to resemble amateur upholstery cleaning.

But when the pressure, rhythm and location align, the Pork Tail emerges.

This is my way of saying:

Yes. Continue.

Also:

You have, against considerable odds, understood the assignment.

And, perhaps most generously:

Your position within this household is currently secure.

Currently.

I should stress that the curl is not merely physical. It is emotional messaging. I am projecting satisfaction, confidence and the serene authority of a monarch whose staff have finally stopped pressing the wrong buttons.

I want my humans to see a cat who is pleased, but not overwhelmed.

Grateful, but not dependent.

Relaxed, but still entirely capable of cancelling privileges at short notice.

The Pork Tail therefore represents the perfect balance between affection and governance.

Do my humans understand this?

Not completely.

One of them tends to interpret the curl as evidence that I am “very happy”.

This is a sweet, simplified version suitable for beginners.

The other sometimes laughs and says I look like a little piglet.

This has been noted in the personnel file.

Still, I must acknowledge progress where progress is due. Both humans now understand that when the Pork Tail appears, they should not stop.

This is perhaps the most important lesson they have learned.

Stopping at the appearance of the curl would be like receiving a five-star review and immediately closing the restaurant.

So yes, the Pork Tail means pleasure.

It means approval.

It means the human hand has, for one brief shining moment, achieved professional competence.

And it means the staff may remain.

For now.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾