📝🐱🥶 Royal Affection, Questionable Conclusions and the Heating Situation

There has been a rather unfortunate misunderstanding in my household.

Some time ago, the male human proudly concluded that I had developed a particularly strong attachment to him. His evidence? I had been lying very closely against him.

He seemed terribly pleased with himself.

I allowed him this little moment of happiness. One must occasionally encourage the staff, particularly when their achievements are otherwise difficult to identify.

However, I feel it is time to correct the official record.

I am not exclusively attached to the male human.

As the accompanying photographic evidence clearly demonstrates, the female human is also an entirely acceptable surface upon which to rest one’s royal person.

In fact, both humans have their advantages. Both are reasonably comfortable, both produce body heat, and both have shown a commendable willingness to remain motionless for extended periods when I am asleep.

The male human appears to interpret this as love.

The female human, I suspect, simply understands that moving a sleeping queen would constitute a serious breach of household etiquette.

I appreciate them both enormously.

But really, gentlemen. A cat lies against you once and suddenly you believe you have won an election.

There was no election.

I am the monarchy.

❄️ Meanwhile, a Rather Chilly Development

Autumn has arrived, and I have noticed a deeply concerning decline in the indoor temperature.

Not enough to constitute a national emergency, perhaps, but certainly enough to question whether the household’s heating department is being managed by qualified individuals.

Fortunately, there is news.

The humans have announced that the new air-conditioning units will be installed within the next three weeks.

Splendid.

Apparently, this is part of their preparations for 2027.

I admire their forward planning. Truly. It is reassuring to know that my staff are already considering the comfort of a year that has not yet arrived.

There is, however, one rather obvious difficulty.

It is October 2026.

And I am cold now.

I sincerely hope these magnificent new machines come equipped with a heating function. Otherwise, the humans will have spent a considerable amount of money installing devices designed to make an already chilly palace even colder.

That would be quite an achievement, even by their standards.

I have therefore decided to reserve judgement until the installation is complete.

If the new air conditioning can provide warmth during winter and cooling during summer, I shall consider it a sensible investment in royal infrastructure.

If it cannot, I shall be forced to continue using the humans as portable radiators.

Which brings us rather neatly back to the original misunderstanding.

Dear male human, when I curl up against the female human, it does not mean I love you any less.

And when I curl up against you, it does not necessarily mean I love you more.

I love you both dearly.

But until the new heating arrangements have been properly inspected, I would strongly advise neither of you to confuse affection with central heating.

Yours,

Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾