Apparently, I make a tiny little meow when one of my humans enters the room. A “mini-meow”, they call it. They seem to think I am behaving like a receptionist.

I beg your pardon.

I am not sitting here waiting to say, “Good afternoon, welcome back, do you have an appointment?”

I am the appointment.

The small sound upon entry is, in fact, part of my household security and quality-control procedure. You see, whenever a human reappears, several matters must be established immediately.

  • Is this the same human who left?
  • Have they brought anything?
  • Should they have brought anything?
  • Why are their hands empty?
  • Have they been in another room without authorisation?

And, most importantly, has anything happened elsewhere in my household that may require senior feline intervention?

A full meow would be excessive. I am not running a fish market.

The tiny meow is simply an audible check-in signal. “Noted. You have arrived. Your performance is now under review.”

That is all.

Sometimes the human answers me. This is encouraging. It shows they understand that communication within a well-managed household must flow both ways, even if one party is considerably more qualified than the other. Naturally, they believe we are having a little conversation.

Sweet.

In reality, I am confirming that they remain responsive to basic commands. Continuing education points may be awarded. So no, I am not the receptionist. I am the Head of Household Operations acknowledging the return of junior staff.

Briefly.

Politely.

And with exactly as much enthusiasm as the situation deserves.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾