I recently had the great pleasure of meeting family from the North of Norway, including two particularly impressive young ladies whom I shall refer to as the Nieces of the North.

They were kind, gentle and clearly well educated in the most important area of household life: obtaining treats from humans.

I watched them carefully.

Without causing alarm, making formal demands or submitting a written request to management, they somehow persuaded the humans to produce one delicacy after another. It was a masterclass in negotiation. A glance here, a charming smile there, and suddenly snacks appeared.

Naturally, I took notes.

A competent ruler must always remain open to new leadership techniques, especially when they involve food. Since their visit, I have tested several of their methods on my own humans, and I am pleased to report excellent results.

Clever girls.

They were also wonderfully sweet to me, and I very much enjoyed sitting near them. I do not offer my company lightly, of course. My presence is a privilege, carefully allocated according to character, manners and respect for personal space. The Nieces passed their assessment with distinction.

Later that evening, the parents of the Nieces arrived.

At first, I kept a dignified distance and watched proceedings carefully. One should never rush an inspection of new humans. I observed their movements, listened to their voices and considered whether they understood the correct protocols for entering my household.

Once I was satisfied that everything appeared to be in order, I carried out a brief personal check.

They passed too.

All in all, the visit was a tremendous success. I gained new friends, improved my treat-acquisition strategy and maintained excellent diplomatic relations with the North of Norway.

I sincerely hope the Nieces of the North will return before too long. Their company was delightful, their manners were excellent, and their knowledge of human snack management was truly inspiring.

Yours,

Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾