At first, I regarded the exterior painter with the caution appropriate for any tradesman arriving at my residence with ladders, brushes and suspiciously energetic footwear.

He made noises outside my windows, moved objects without submitting the correct paperwork and appeared at several unexpected heights. Naturally, I placed him under observation.

However, I am a fair ruler, and I believe in allowing staff the opportunity to improve.

To his credit, the exterior painter has made remarkable progress. He now enters calmly, speaks to me in a respectful tone and, most importantly, understands that a proper working day must include time devoted to stroking the household’s senior management.

This explains why I am suddenly sitting beside him on the chair.

It is not friendship in the ordinary sense. It is a probationary executive arrangement.

He has a warm arm, a steady hand and a cup of tea, all of which suggest good judgement. Furthermore, sitting beside him allows me to supervise both the painter and my human simultaneously. Efficiency is one of my greatest strengths.

My human may look surprised, but that is because humans often mistake careful diplomacy for inconsistency. I have not changed my mind without reason. The painter has simply completed the required training modules and collected enough continuing education points to qualify for limited royal access.

He may now stroke my head, admire me at close range and share my chair, provided he remembers that it is, in fact, my chair.

The exterior painter has therefore been officially promoted from Suspicious Outdoor Person to Approved Temporary Household Associate.

A considerable honour.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾