📝🐱🍂 Continuing Education, Garden Labour and the Sneezes of the North

There comes a time in every household when one must assess whether one’s staff are receiving sufficient professional development.

In my household, that time has come for the female human.

After careful consideration, I decided that she would benefit from a weekend away at a hotel. Not as a holiday, you understand, but as an educational exercise. A valuable opportunity to observe how other establishments treat their most distinguished guests.

Room service. Comfortable beds. Attentive staff. Meals presented without unnecessary delays.

All perfectly ordinary expectations in my palace, although I felt she might benefit from seeing them successfully implemented elsewhere.

After all, even the best staff we have must occasionally leave the premises to earn a few Continuing Education Points.

I expect a full report upon her return. Particularly concerning breakfast service.

Naturally, sending the female human away created an interesting staffing opportunity.

The male human suddenly found himself with an entire day at his disposal. No competing domestic priorities, no interruptions, and, most importantly, no excuse not to work in the garden.

Preparations for the installation of the air conditioning units were required, and I felt this was an excellent opportunity for him to demonstrate initiative.

Some humans spend their weekends enjoying hotel facilities.

Others spend them digging in the garden.

One must maintain a certain distinction between management development and manual labour.

I, meanwhile, remained in my executive office, otherwise known as the warmest comfortable spot indoors, supervising the entire operation.

And then autumn arrived.

Not discreetly, as one might expect from a well-brought-up season. No, autumn apparently decided to make its entrance with considerable enthusiasm.

The male human experienced this firsthand while working outside yesterday.

I watched with professional interest as the weather reminded him that summer had officially concluded.

Personally, I consider gardening in autumn an entirely avoidable occupational hazard. Particularly when one has a perfectly serviceable house to sit in.

But humans do insist on making life unnecessarily complicated.

And speaking of autumn, there has been another development from the far North.

Regular readers may remember the Nieces of the North, our distinguished visitors from Norway.

Well, this time the North appears to have sent something rather less welcome.

The Sneezes of the North.

Yes, instead of nieces, we have received sneezes.

An unfortunate administrative error, I suspect.

The male human appears to have been the principal recipient of this latest northern delivery. Between the autumn weather, the garden work and the sneezing, his weekend has become something of an endurance exercise.

I have, of course, taken all necessary precautions.

I remain indoors.

In the warmth.

At a suitable distance from the weather, the gardening equipment and any human making suspicious nasal noises.

Some might describe this as a lack of solidarity.

I prefer to think of it as responsible leadership. There is little point in having the entire management team incapacitated by the same seasonal inconvenience.

Still, I am not without compassion.

With the female human away on her educational assignment, and the male human left to face the elements, I decided that a little additional support was appropriate.

I have therefore arranged for him to enjoy a proper meal at his sister-in-law’s.

A generous gesture, I think you will agree.

He gets a warm welcome, a decent dinner and something resembling temporary shelter from the hardships of his weekend.

His sister-in-law gets the pleasure of entertaining him.

And I get a peaceful palace without anyone sneezing over my furniture.

Everybody benefits.

Naturally, I shall expect him to return afterwards. There are still important duties to attend to, and the air conditioning units will not prepare themselves.

As for the female human, I sincerely hope her hotel experience proves educational.

If she returns with a better understanding of five-star service, the entire household stands to benefit.

Although I do hope she does not get carried away with the idea of hotel living.

In a hotel, one is expected to pay for one’s accommodation.

In my palace, the humans already have that privilege.

They simply haven’t yet understood who is providing the service.

Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾