I recently had the great pleasure of meeting family from the North of Norway, including two particularly impressive young ladies whom I shall refer to as the Nieces of the North. They were kind, gentle and clearly well educated in the most important area of household life: …
Mrs. Cotton and little Miss Dickens
-
-
📝🇳🇴🐱The Northern Delegation Arrives
Today, my Palace is preparing for a most distinguished visit. The Norwegian Family has arrived in the Netherlands. Not the Norwegian Royal Family, I hasten to add. They may perhaps visit me at a later date, once they have reviewed their household arrangements and ensured that …
-
I am often asked why I wear no crown indoors or in official photographs. A true queen does not need one to prove her rank. Besides, crowns are terribly inconvenient during naps.
Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾
-
📝🐱The Great Fuss About Fifty
A member of my family has turned fifty. Apparently, this is an Event. There have been discussions, decorations, secret arrangements and a remarkable amount of excitement over a number. My humans keep saying, “You only turn fifty once,” as though they have uncovered a rare …
-
📝🐱🪰Why Fly Hunting Is an Essential Royal Duty
Some humans believe that fly hunting is merely a hobby. This is incorrect. Fly hunting is a vital household service, performed by highly trained feline personnel. In my household, that personnel happens to be me. A fly is not simply an insect. It is an uninvited aerial intruder …
-
📝🐱A Most Welcome Temperature Adjustment
At last, the temperatures have dropped a little. I have reviewed the situation from several important locations, including the sofa, the windowsill and the exact centre of the hallway, and I can confirm that household conditions are improving. My humans may call it “cooler …
-
📝🐱The Melon, the Sunbeams and the Suspicious Painter
Every morning, I begin my duties with a thorough inspection of the kitchen. Some cats rush about demanding breakfast. I prefer to position myself elegantly on the kitchen worktop and allow breakfast negotiations to develop at their own pace. A true ruler never appears desperate. …
-
A lovely quiet evening. My humans are in front of the television, while I have claimed the canapé, as is only proper.
The household is calm, the cushions are comfortable, and all royal duties are complete for today.
Yours, Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾
-
📝🐱The Sofa Armrest Investigation
Yesterday, my household received a specialist visitor. A furniture restorer arrived to inspect the sofa armrest, which bears an important piece of historical artwork created by Snickers. My humans refer to it as “damage”. I prefer the more accurate term: an original mixed-media …
-
📝🐱Household Policy Update: The Approved Sleeping Places
There appears to be some confusion in my household regarding sleeping arrangements. My humans seem to believe that I have “a bed”. This is technically correct in the same way that Buckingham Palace technically has “a chair”. One does not restrict oneself unnecessarily. As head of …