By the time my humans believe the house has settled for the night, my real work begins. At precisely the moment they switch off the lights and whisper, “Goodnight,” I commence the final inspection of my kingdom. The female human turns over exactly seven times before accepting …
Mrs. Cotton and little Miss Dickens
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📝🐱✈️Her Royal Return
My female human is coming home, and I can hardly wait. Naturally, I have kept the household running smoothly in her absence. The cushions have been supervised, the windows inspected and the male human has received several important training reminders. Still, the kingdom is simply …
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📝🐱My Official Complaint About Vacuum Cleaners
Yesterday, my humans committed the same household offence they have committed many times before. They brought out the vacuum cleaner. I was resting peacefully, supervising the living room from a strategically selected position, when the machine appeared without warning. No …
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📝🐱🛌🏻The Saturday Morning Wake-Up Department
Saturday mornings are an important part of my household administration. My humans seem to believe that Saturday is a day for “sleeping in”. This is a charming idea, rather like believing the sofa belongs to them. At precisely the correct hour, which is whenever I decide the …
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📝🐱🏡Weekend Duty
The weekend is nearly upon us, which means my humans will once again be at home for a full twenty-four hours a day. Naturally, they consider this relaxing. For me, however, it means increased supervision, additional household management and considerably more foot traffic through …
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📝🐱🇳🇴A Farewell Inspection and the Return of Management
Last night, the Nieces of the North came by for one final farewell before setting off on the very long day ahead of them. Naturally, I supervised the proceedings. Farewells are delicate household matters. They require warmth, suitable attention and, ideally, a cat positioned …
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📝🐱The Exterior Painter’s Unexpected Promotion
At first, I regarded the exterior painter with the caution appropriate for any tradesman arriving at my residence with ladders, brushes and suspiciously energetic footwear. He made noises outside my windows, moved objects without submitting the correct paperwork and appeared at …
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📝🐱🚪The Closed Door Policy
Humans do not understand closed doors. They believe a door is simply either open or shut. A practical household object. Very sweet. To a cat, however, a closed door is a formal challenge to authority. In my household, I deal with this personally. I sit outside the offending door …
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By the way, there is a beauty nap in progress now. Royal duties have been temporarily suspended while I restore my elegance, recharge my authority and ensure I remain the finest-looking member of this household.
Yours,
Mrs. Cotton 🐱🐾
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📝🐱🩷 By the Way..
When the Northern Family left, I noticed that my female human had a little dampness in her eyes. I also thought I heard her quietly wondering when she would see them again. Humans do become terribly attached to one another. So, by the way, I shall be keeping a closer eye on her …